Operating Instructions


Now you have to know that somewhere someone actually did the things that are on these labels...otherwise why put the warning on??? LMAO...

This is the ultimate test of HUMAN STUPIDITY...

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed through gross stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos:
"You could be winner!
No purchase necessary.
Details inside."
(The shoplifter special.)

On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how...?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But it's *just* a suggestion.)

On Tesco Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):
"Do not turn upside down."
(Too late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."
(As night follows the day...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save more time?)

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery
after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents
if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off
those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(One would hope.)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a newsflash.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: Fly Delta.)

On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."
(Was there a case of this happening somewhere? My God!)
  meant as written  
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updated 01.10.2000
design & graphic arts by Tina Nowara