Forrest Gump goes to heaven
 
   

 

The day arrives: Forrest Gump dies and goes to heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

St. Peter says, "Well Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven."

Forrest responds, "It shore is good to be here St. Peter. I was looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. Sure hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was".

St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know Forrest, but the test I have for you is only three questions. Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter T? Second: How many seconds are here in a year? Third: What is God's first name?".

Forrest goes away to think the questions over. He returns the next day and goes up to St. Peter to try to answer the exam questions. St. Peter waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers. Well, the first one how many days of the week begin with the letter "T"?

Forrest says, "Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow."

The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest! That's not what I was thinking, but.....you do have a point though, and I guess I didn't specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asks St. Peter. "How many seconds in a year?"

" Now that one's harder", says Forrest, "But I thunk and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can be twelve".

Astounded St. Peter says, "Twelve! Twelve seconds in a year?"

Forest says, "Shucks, there gotta be twelve: January second, February second, March second, April second, May second.....".

"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this. And I guess I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind, but I'll give you credit for that one too. Let's go on with the next and final question. Can you tell me God's first name?"

Without hesitation Forrest replied, "Andy".

"OK, OK," said a frustrated St.Peter, "I guess I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you came up with the name 'Andy' as the first name of God?"

"That was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learned it from the song: "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN....."

~~SMILE BECAUSE LIKE FORREST, YOU ARE BLESSED!~~

 
         
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updated 08.10.2000
design & graphic arts by Tina Nowara